The Tough Guise (Video Response)

Everyday we encounter stereotypes and labels, and for men this is the "tough guise." The "ideal" man is thought to be strong, respected, powerful, independent, and a leader, and for many this is acquired through violence; enforcing fear on others to gain respect. There should be no ideal man or ideal woman because everyone is different. No one should expect or assume something from someone just because they are a certain sex. It is this type of gendering that puts many people in danger because someone is always trying to out do someone else and a lot of the time the end result is unfortunate.

As a woman my identity is tainted with weakness and inferiority because of this tough guise. Many men put up a front as alpha male, macho man, etc. and many assume they have a preordained right to have power over women. In the video men describe a weak man as "girly." Why is weakness gendered girly? This is the comment that upsets me the most from the video because I am a strong woman and no one has the right to tell me otherwise based on the fact that I am a female. This train of thought also harms the safety of myself and other women. Since we are seen as weak some men have a lower respect for us and may feel they can take advantage of us; we are put into danger.

Since I am a first generation, Asian American woman, the tough guise affects me greatly. White supremacy tries to suppress minorities in order to keep the power they may lose, and in retaliation minorities feel they need to step up. As a minority woman I am caught in this world and a lot of the time women are the victims in these circumstances; violence is taken out on women just to feel that power and respect.

I also fear for my father, grandfather, nephews, uncles, and future sons because they have to deal with the violence between men and boys that arise from the tough guise. Although playing into the tough guise would only add to the problem, sometimes it is essential to protect themselves and their loved ones. It is an issue that no one can avoid; it is a cycle that continues on to the next generation and even though men and boys may resist the tough guise they are pushed and forced into it because of the society's social construct. Knowing that the tough guise will go on like this scares me because you can only do so much with the people around you.

WW: "Domestic Violence" (Reading Response)

When I hear stories about domestic violence I cringe.I ask myself why would these women put themselves through this suffering and why don't they get help. People may disregard the issue of domestic violence because it is not their problem or it is not their buisness, but as a woman, as a human being, I feel I have a duty to reach out, spread awareness, and encourage people to seek help. This past Tuesday, February 3, 2009, my sorority sister and I held a workshop in honor of our sorority's, Chi Delta Sigma's, Founding Week.


Researching the statistics and watching youtube videos on domestic violence were shocking and heart aching. Women everywhere all over the world are victimized simply because they are women; because they are supposedly the "inferior sex;" because they live in a strongly patriarchal society. It saddens me to see how women are treated because it is a cycle of violence that keeps going, and if women do not seek help, a lot of the time they end up losing their lives and leaving the abuser to victimize others, especially if children are left behind.


Children who experience and/or witness domestic violence may often think violence is okay. Domestic violence is then carried onto the next generation and the cycle begins again. They may also have psychological and emotional problems and in some cases become neglected. That is why victims need to reach out for help, because so many others are affected directly and indirectly.

It's this sense of control that drives an abuser. Although both men and women can be victims of domestic violence, majority of the cases are of abused women. There is a great difference between abused men and women because of this sense of patriarchy. Although we are working towards equality, women still struggle to make themselves heard. Some men feel they have a right to take charge in a relationship, even if they aren't married.


Domestic violence goes beyond the household; beyond married couples. It can happen to anyone, no matter what marital status, age, gender, race, religion, etc. It could even happen in college.