The Tough Guise (Video Response)

Everyday we encounter stereotypes and labels, and for men this is the "tough guise." The "ideal" man is thought to be strong, respected, powerful, independent, and a leader, and for many this is acquired through violence; enforcing fear on others to gain respect. There should be no ideal man or ideal woman because everyone is different. No one should expect or assume something from someone just because they are a certain sex. It is this type of gendering that puts many people in danger because someone is always trying to out do someone else and a lot of the time the end result is unfortunate.

As a woman my identity is tainted with weakness and inferiority because of this tough guise. Many men put up a front as alpha male, macho man, etc. and many assume they have a preordained right to have power over women. In the video men describe a weak man as "girly." Why is weakness gendered girly? This is the comment that upsets me the most from the video because I am a strong woman and no one has the right to tell me otherwise based on the fact that I am a female. This train of thought also harms the safety of myself and other women. Since we are seen as weak some men have a lower respect for us and may feel they can take advantage of us; we are put into danger.

Since I am a first generation, Asian American woman, the tough guise affects me greatly. White supremacy tries to suppress minorities in order to keep the power they may lose, and in retaliation minorities feel they need to step up. As a minority woman I am caught in this world and a lot of the time women are the victims in these circumstances; violence is taken out on women just to feel that power and respect.

I also fear for my father, grandfather, nephews, uncles, and future sons because they have to deal with the violence between men and boys that arise from the tough guise. Although playing into the tough guise would only add to the problem, sometimes it is essential to protect themselves and their loved ones. It is an issue that no one can avoid; it is a cycle that continues on to the next generation and even though men and boys may resist the tough guise they are pushed and forced into it because of the society's social construct. Knowing that the tough guise will go on like this scares me because you can only do so much with the people around you.